On Anniversaries III

19/12/2014:

Not again…

20/12/2014:

Missed Call From Philomena

Missed Call From Philomena

Missed Call From Philomena

Missed Call From Philomena

Messages

Philomena
Please pick up your phone or reply to this text
Mugabi???
Are you alright?
Please be alright….

Missed Call From Philomena

21/12/2014:

Messages

Mugabi
Hey!
Sorry if I freaked you out yesterday. I was in the hospital

Philomena
Oh my goodness it’s such a relief to hear from you… my mind went to the worst.
Why were you in the hospital???
Can we talk over the phone?

Mugabi
Sorry I’m not feeling up to talking over the phone right now.

I think I had another mini-stroke last night. I felt:

  1. Lightheaded
  2. The right side of my face was droopy and I had difficulty opening my right eye
  3. I felt like waves were going through my body
  4. I felt really hot all over my body for no reason
  5. I was sweating a lot more than normal
  6. I had a lot of trouble balancing
  7. I felt incredibly dizzy
  8. My legs felt hot and wouldn’t stop tingling
  9. I had one of the worst migraines of my life
  10. I felt a high fever
  11. I had difficulty focusing and was incredibly out of it

I went back into the emergency room and stayed there for like 6 hours again. A bunch of doctors saw me and ran a bunch of tests. I was discharged earlier this morning. The doctors said that supposedly I did not have another mini-stroke. What happened then? They have absolutely no idea.
Get this: my official diagnosis was DIZZINESS. I mean come on?! Dizziness?!

None of these doctors have any idea what having a stroke actually feels like. I do!
These past two ‘episodes’ are the only thing I’ve ever felt in my life that feels exactly like my stroke did.
They said I should only come back to the hospital if I experience the following ‘legitimately worrying’ symptoms:

1)I can’t talk
2)I have severe weakness in my arm/leg to the point that I can’t lift them
3)I have a droopy face that reflects in the mirror (because when I felt my face drooping, it wasn’t physically drooping in my reflection. Hella surreal and hella freaky)

I’m terrified because no one has absolutely any idea what is going on.

Philomena
Oh my god!!!
I’m literally speechless!!
I’m so so so so incredibly sorry! How can this happen twice?!
How are you feeling now?

Mugabi
Back to normal

Philomena
Mugz, I know this is hard but try your best not to worry.
It’s the hardest thing to do right now and it’s incredibly difficult not to be terrified but, you have to try to stay calm. It may take some time but I believe that the doctors will figure something out.
I will pray for you. I really think you should get to your sister in Washington, DC ASAP

20/12/2016:

At twenty two years old, I suffered from what was initially misdiagnosed as a TIA but was later diagnosed as a third stroke. At twenty two years old, I wrote about one of my strokes for the first time in my life.

I’ve been trying to tell a different story. Do I write about my strokes and disabilities too much? Do I talk I about my strokes and disabilities too much? I suffered from my first stroke at 9 years old and did not write about that until I was twenty two. I spent thirteen years of my life hiding and being ashamed of my disabilities. I spent thirteen years of my life believing I was inferior because of my physical differences.

I’ve been trying to tell a different story. Do I write about my strokes and disabilities too much? Do I talk I about my strokes and disabilities too much? I spent thirteen years too many running from the truth. I spent thirteen years too many not speaking my truth.

My name is Mugabi Byenkya.
I am a stroke survivor.
And I am damn proud of it.

 

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2 thoughts on “On Anniversaries III

  1. On Tue, Dec 20, 2016 at 14:50 They Said I Should Talk More wrote:

    > > thinking of u Mugabi ! wishing u much love and validation and space and > comfort during these trying anniversary days ! 💜 if i can become a doctor > someday i’ll remember ur words and hold them with me. u deserve more than > to be dismissed ! that’s gr8 b proud i c u ! 🙌✨ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > theysaidishouldtalkmore posted: “19/12/2014: > > > > Not again… > > > > 20/12/2014: > > > > Missed Call From Philomena > > > > Missed Call From Philomena > > > > Missed Call From Philomena > > > > Missed Call From Philomena > > > > Messages > > > > Philomena > > Please pick up your phone or reply to this text > > Mugabi??? > > Are you” > > > > > > > > > >

    Like

    • Thanks a lot Keenan! I appreciate you thinking of me and sending me love! ❤

      I hope you do become a doctor and are able to provide your patients with the compassion they deserve. I understand that the establishment of medical school attracts a certain type of person (unempathetic, type A personalities who are focused on cracking cases), the very nature of medical school and being a doctor tends to overwork and overstress you so you barely have time for empathy but nonetheless patients deserve better and I have faith in you providing patients what they deserve!

      Like

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