Expletive

“St. John The Bastard”
“Are you serious?!” my Mother replied
“St. John The Bastard” I adamantly answered
St. John The Bastard
My new name upon Confirmation into the Catholic Faith

St. John The Bastard
I loved the way it perforated the air puncturing eardrums but not my soul
For you see: I don’t curse, I don’t swear, I don’t use ‘bad words’

“Never use bad words” my Mother had told me when I was ye high
Looked into her eyes
And saw nothing but unconditional love, care and tender devotion

My Mother never went through the motions
She loved me
She knew what was right
So to her ban on bad words I strictly abide

Except-
For the John The Bastard
Bastard alone, I could never say
But John The Bastard was the name of a Saint
Someone to aspire to
And the fact that I could get away with saying a bad word felt awesome
For you see: I don’t curse, I don’t swear, I don’t use ‘bad words’

Swearing is generic and lazy
I mean really, of all the words in the English language
You are really going to choose the most overplayed
To display, anger, frustration and the intricacies of being stuck in a rut in life’s maze?

F-Bombs and female dogs don’t fully express the gravity of the situation!
Nor the depth and breadth of my emotions!
I want to TITILLATE you!
I want to DEFENESTRATE you!
For you see: I don’t curse, I don’t swear, I don’t use ‘bad words’

In my minds eye, ‘bad words’ carry a weight
When this weight is expunged from my oral cavities
It stays shackled to my soul making me droop like bait
On a fishing rod, dangling trapped by the inevitability of the situation like Socrates
To put it succinctly, ‘bad words’ make me feel… bad
They are designed to hurt
To maim
I don’t like hurting others
For you see: I don’t curse, I don’t swear, I don’t use ‘bad words’

I don’t like hurting others which is why I live in the realm of metaphor
For God’s sake my mother tongue is filled with metaphor
Nyama Nya Embuzi is one of the worst insults I heard as a child
And it means Goats meat! Why, is that an insult?

Metaphors
Wrapping themselves around my lyrical barrage and silencing the roar
For you see: I don’t curse, I don’t swear, I don’t use ‘bad words’

Because my Mother told me not to
And I listened.

Question: Why doesn’t Mugabi use swear words unless he’s quoting somebody?
Answer: (See Above)

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