?

Why did my Dad have to die?
Why did my Dad have to die?
Why did my Dad have to die?
Why did my Dad have to die?
Why did my Dad have to die?
Why did my Dad have to die?

Why I can’t I cry?
Why I can’t I cry?
Why I can’t I cry?
Why I can’t I cry?
Why I can’t I cry?
Why I can’t I cry?
Why I can’t I cry?
Why I can’t I cry?

Why did my Dad have to die?

Why I can’t I cry?

Eleven years ago, my Father died
Wished it was a bullet in between his eyes
At least then I’d have someone to blame
Someone to maim
Someone to name
The bane of my existence calling
Revenge is non-existent darling
For no one killed my Father but his own body…

My Father passed away on this day eleven years ago. After he passed I completely lost my ability to cry for a couple of years. I have since regained my ability to cry but have never been able to cry as easily or frequently as before his passing. This is a song I wrote about this last year when my health was absolutely terrible and I could barely write. After putting my pain to paper I was wracked by a violently painful and exhausting seizure and migraine. I’m not sure if writing this was worth it.  

“On July 11th 2005 my Father died.  Mortified, I notarize through rhyming lines” – Mugabi Byenkya 

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