#FlashbackFridays: The Confession

Intro: [Chorus-in Ancient Greek sense]
Our Father, who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
Amen

Verse 1: [Mugabi]
Father forgive me for I have sinned
It has been 8 months since I
Released this raucous din called my thoughts
Emptied the mental recycle bin
Rubbed my cranial lamp, to eject the gin
Also known as my sins
Rattling out of my mouth like tin
As I attempt to pin
A source in order to win
And overcome my failures like gulping down my gin
I confess
So bless me Father

Interlude: [Priest]
Son, I understand you feel conflicted
Your mind is twisted
Jilted and thrifted
Tell me of your troubled past and confess your sins
In order to be forgiven at last

Chorus: [Mugabi]
Lust, Pride, why haven’t I died?
Sloth, Wrath, questioning my path?
Envy, Greed, will she want my seed?
Gluttony, will he forgive me?
I have committed all seven of the deadly sins
Time and time again I’m forgiven
But like a broken record, I sin again on a whim

Interlude: [Mugabi & Ishan]
Sin again on a whim
Sin again on a whim
Sin again on a whim

Musical Interlude

Verse 2: [Conscience]
Embrace it, you’re only human
In this, translucent delusion
With death, always looming
You are nothing, but, a contusion
On Chronos
With delusions
Of grandeur
Crying wolf, like Nostradamus
Give up, trying to be perfect
You are a born sinner
Do what you have to do, to escape being someone’s dinner
You’re imperfect, accept it

Chorus: [Mugabi]
Lust, Pride, why haven’t I died?
Sloth, Wrath, questioning my path?
Envy, Greed, will she want my seed?
Gluttony, will he forgive me?
I have committed all seven of the deadly sins
Time and time again I’m forgiven
But like a broken record, I sin again on a whim

Verse 3: [Mugabi]
“It is necessary to have wished for death, in order to know how good it is to live”
– The Count of Monte Cristo
I want to accept it
Just be complacent
Nascent
Effervescent from my morals
PH of 14, I’m basic
But I’ve tried to accept my sins, to no avail
Part of my soul died
Striving for perfection
But I’m perfectly imperfect
Nobody is perfect
You live and you learn it
But settling with imperfection, is not worth it
Not worth it

I’m Catholic. I have doubts and issues with my faith and my church. This song and accompanying music video is about one of those. I have always grappled with the Catholic practice of confession because I don’t understand how simply asking for forgiveness and going in to see a priest absolves you of your sins even if you don’t make any attempts to become a better person. I go to confession about once a year and it bothers me that I keep on committing the same sins over and over and can’t seem to stop. So I wrote this song about my internal conversation regarding this.

The accompanying music video is the music video that I am most proud of to date. This week marks it’s 2 year anniversary! Shout-out to my incredibly talented friend Brenda for translating my creative vision into an even better product. It’s incredibly hard to take something in someone’s head and put it in film so props to her.

Video Breakdown!
The video begins with me praying the Lords prayer in a Greek chorus like form intended to juxtapose the amount of times I have prayed for forgiveness for committing the same sins over and over. The entire video was deliberately made to be very minimalist in shades of black and white, juxtaposing the morally black and white nature of Catholicism. It then moves to a visual depiction of all seven deadly sins and how I find them impossible to avoid:
Pride-Me checking my devilishly handsome self out in the mirror with hella bling bling *dirt off my shoulder* (Kissing the snake -> Satan)
Lust- The gorgeous Kennie tempts me and I attempt to act on my lust and end up flat on my face
Envy- The dangling crown which is out of reach until I finally get it
Greed- Having obtained the crown, I barely put it on my head before I am overwhelmed with riches
{Listen to The Game’s Westside Story to understand why it was included here}
{As I go looking for answers in the Bible and prayer, my sins turn me into a pale shadow of the man I once was. The book in the Bible I read is Revelations-very significant}
Gluttony- Copious amounts of alcohol is the only thing which can soothe my pain. I am entrapped within a cage of my own sin
Wrath- Fighting myself? Am I being too hard on myself?
Sloth- Holds me back from being a better man and winning the fight against my own demons 

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