#FlashbackFridays: Privilege

 

The bottle spins as the reams of thoughts flutter by my consciousness
As my disjointed synapses fire off things I would not mind saying with confidence
The bottle stops.
On me.
Breath in…
PAUSE
Settle on one idea, I see
‘Never have I ever wished for the unearned advantages distributed based on the values of the dominant matriarchal society that we live in’
All the men take a shot
All the women sit in awkward defensive silence
Sometimes silence is violent
Sometimes silence speaks of untold and underrepresented voices
Sometimes silence speaks of long internally torn oppressed histories, also known as ‘background noises’
Sometimes silence tells a story
Sometimes silence tells this story from alternate eyes
Do you realize?
Sometimes silence is violent

Like that one night out
Or EVERY single night out
Going out for some drinks, dancing and good times with the guys
As we get on the dancefloor, we form a little circle, and the dance the night away to our hearts content
ENTER woman.
She tries dancing up on me, to which I reply
By turning around and politely explaining ‘I’m sorry but I don’t want to dance with you’
‘Wow’ she replies, ‘What do you think you’re too good for me or something?’
‘No’-
‘Then what?? You got a girlfriend or something?’
‘No’-
‘Then what?? Are you gay or something?’
‘No’-
‘Then’- WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT answer would ever satisfy one who does not care about what I want
This is NOT my story to tell..

Truth is, never have I ever wished for the unearned advantages based on the values of the dominant patriarchal society that we live in
Truth is, all the women take a shot
Truth is, all the men sit in awkward defensive silence
Truth is, silence is violent
Truth is, no matter how many female friends, girlfriends, mother’s, sisters, cousins etc. I have, I will never ever, fully relate to the female experience
Truth is, I cannot speak for a life I have not lived
Truth is, however angry and frustrated this makes me, this does not compare to the experiences of those that have to live it every single day

Truth is, I think I finally know what it feels like to be white

Welcome to #FlashbackFridays! This is going to be a running column on my blog where I post a throwback piece every Friday that I forget to make a #ThrowbackThursdays post. I would normally blame African time but I’m in a hella intensive pain rehabilitation clinic at the Mayo clinic for my chronic pain that does not give me a lot of free time. For this piece, I was longlisted for the BN Poetry award (http://www.bnpoetryaward.co.ug/unveiling-the-bnpoetry-award-2015-longlist/) and featured on James Murua’s literature blog (http://jamesmurua.com/bn-poetry-award-2015-longlist-unveiled/) as well as Nyana Kakoma’s Ugandan literature blog (http://somanystories.ug/features/poems/2015/07/privilege-mugabi-byenkya-2015-bnpa-longlist). Big things popping! 

 

 

 

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